Sugarcane

I'm the salt in your sugarcane

But it's not the taste that I blame

It's not you or I

because we try, try, try

The more we change, the more things stay the same.

...

And maybe I have always been the one to say goodbye.

And I won't lie, no, if I don't stick around you're not gonna die..

And now you're here and your jeans are ripped

A cigarette between your lips

But you don't smoke

I guess now you do , do do

because what you want, I just can't give to you

because what you want, I just can't give to you.

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American Heritage Dictionary defines love <--

It's amazing to me how even with all the different definitions, none can really fully describe what love is.  It's so much more than a feeling.  So much more than attraction.  Beyond that, love is hardly ever cut and dry.  It's complicated and confusing.  Sometimes it's selfless, sometimes entirely selfish.  Sometimes it's euphoric, others it's dysphoric.  It's something you can give or receive... but also can just have within you.

1 John 4 says that God is love.  God loves us when no one else does.  He loves us when many others love us.  He loves us when we are defiant and when we are obedient.

Our actions can show our love.  The choices we make can reflect the inner love we have for someone, something.  

I don't believe that knowing something is wrong means that you are absent of love for that person.  Not at all.  Sometimes love is illogical, sometimes it can't save you from what God is revealing.  Yet, God is still love.  And indeed, when we are the most lost and confused, even to the point where we find ourselves wondering if we have any idea what love is, He is there, loving us more than we could ever deserve.

Much more than I could ever deserve.

There is nothing I can do to ever make up for this love, but out of love I choose to try.  Not to try to earn God's love, no one can do that.  Rather I choose to try to show my love every chance I get.

I John 4:9-10: This is how God showed his love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

6,000,000,000

There are 6 billion people in the world... and sometimes, all you need, is one.

Things I <3

1. Nonfat Pumpkin Spice Lattes with whipped cream and 1 or 2 extra shots
   
2. cookie dough
   
3. Christmas Season
4. Christmas trees
5. Christmas lights
6. breezes
7. cold nights
8. South Park: "All About the Mormons?"
9. "I am so smart... s-m-r-t... I mean s-m-a-r-t"
10. home
11. Alberto's
12. living half a mile from Alberto's
13. Unico
14. ugly fuzzy warm socks
15. Juicy sweats
16. hoodies
17. My Little Pony
18. Thanksgiving
19. Little Women
20. fires in the fireplace
21. s'mores with peanut butter
22. Rainbow Brite
23. clean rooms
24. down comforters
25. Mrs. Fields Sugar Butter with M&M's and Semisweet Chocolate Chip cookies
26. baking
27. grocery shopping
28. surprise gifts
29. getting free/super cheap flowers from my boy
30. Christmas music!!!!!!
31. having an 80 gig ipod
32. my macbook
33. TV on dvd: Grey's Anatomy, Gilmore Girls, 7th Heaven, 90210 (the o.g.), One Tree Hill, Sex and the City, and whatever goes on sale for $20 next
34. TV on the internet
35. Treehouse of Horror
36. good books
37. Miguel's
38. shakes, my childhood love returns
39. True Religion Johnny and Death Valley Candice
40. William Rast Sadie
41. my coach flats
42. Tom's
43. the idea of "Family Home Evening"
44. kitties
45. Smashbox
46. Clinique
47. Mocha Banana Ice Storms
48. boysenberry
49. Final Fantasy VII
50. singing
51. encouraging
52. candles
53. yummy smells: books, boy, fragrance, fresh rain on the asphalt...
54. Lexapro
55. fall
56. preschoolers
57. helping people learn
58. Diet Coke
59. Stella
60. Republic of Tea
61. Coffffffffffffffffee
62. my owl teapot at cups that my mom got me last Christmas
63. the chaise lounge
64. my bed
65. Au Gratin potatoes
66. ham
67. pound cake
68. scrabble
69. manicures
70. pedicures
71. clean kitchens
72. hummus
73. american apparel deep v's
74. having a safe apartment
75. Mission Inn at Christmastime
76. Hot Cocoa with whipped cream
77. Kim's pumpkin squares
78. songs that make even me dance
79. graduating
80. you

Felt like reflecting... turns out I can create an infinite list of things I "<3"

I'm a lucky girl.

Love Story

I may never be someone's Juliet.  Someone probably won't say, "I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress."  But love stories still exist, right?  

I refuse to believe that they're just some sort of extravagant fairy tale.  I believe relationships take work.  But I believe in love.  The love God has given me has shown me that true, real love exists.  No, a human can't love in the same capacity that God can... but that love God has given me convinces me that He wants more for us.  He wants us to love on a different level.  He wants us to pour love on someone.  It only makes sense that that person He has for us would want to pour love back on us, right?  Someone who will choose you above everything else.

Is a truly godly family outdated?  Is the idea of chasing after what God has for you wholeheartedly obsolete?  We all make mistakes, but the underlying desire to do what's right... is it still alive here on earth?

I say it has to be.  I choose to believe in love.  I choose to believe that God knows what's best for me.  Yes, even when it hurts.  Even when it's hard.  Even when it doesn't make sense to me.  And still, in those moments, that is what I want.

In this moment, that is all I want.