Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Random Rules My World

Everytime I have some inspired thought to write in here I get distracted, am away from the computer, or simply decide I am too lazy.

Random will have to work.

After all, we have to start somewhere, right?

Lately things that should be easy seem so much more complicated. At least in line with this, the things that should be more complicated are almost too easy. How is it, though, that as these "more complicated" things have become seemingly "easy," that their new approach in the easy category makes them complicated? Roundabout in every sense.

I've decided I like the acoustic versions of Death Cab for Cutie songs much better than their originals. Please don't organize my lynching. A couple songs off of their new album have really heavy lyrics. One in particular, "You Can Do Better Than Me," is particularly intense.

We're starting to feel
We stayed together out of fear
Of dying alone
I've been slipping through the years
My old clothes don't fit like they once did
So they hang like ghosts
Of the people I've been
It's like my heart can't take
My fall in love every day
And I feel like a fool
I have to face the truth
That no one could ever look at me like you do
Like I'm something worth holding on to
These times I think of leaving
But it's something I'll never do
'Cause you can do better than me
But I can't do better than you

How horrible? Yet, I don't know many people who haven't felt that way in their life. How disconcerting... immensely disconcerting. Further, it seems that I don't know any single person for whom this is not a deep fear. I think I often feel in relationships that I'm that person looking at my beloved the way "no one could," as they stay with me out of fear, or because they don't think they can do better. I NEVER want to be that girlfriend, that wife. There's a difference between believing someone is the best for you and settling because you don't think you can do better. If that is you, do yourself, and that poor guy/girl, a favor. Suck it up and leave. Being single doesn't hurt that badly, I promise. God wants sooooo much more for us in a mate than settling and staying together out of fear of being alone! Our God is great, powerful, and loving. His plan for us is PERFECT. I don't see perfection in that scenario.

How do these always turn into some sort of rant? I'm really not upset, angry, or hurt. Just thinking. My mind tends to do a bit too much of that. Food for thought.


No comments: